What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
I left a room i sensed I was not appreciated.
That room was a relationship. The minute i sensed I was being taken advantage of, I left majestically with no second thoughts. The way I left surprised even me till date.
Now, I have grown to leave many other rooms spontaneously because I need to put my energy and resources where it will be recognized, consequently blossom.
Do you wanna know why it was so easy?
I’ll tell you.
I had goals, vision, and my non negotiables. So when the actions didn’t align with them, I became uncomfortable and left.
Don’t fight to stay where it is clear you are not needed. Some battles are not worth your time.
Staying where you are not needed means you will put up an act, over perform, to feel accepted. In the process, lose yourself to the whims and caprices of everyone in the room. Who doesn’t really give 2 cents about you.
Ask yourself if it is really worth it.
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I wish I had the strength and emotional maturity to do that. I just got out of a long term relationship (16 years + 2 kids) and I knew what I felt for years, my body knew but I thought it was just a rough patch. I knew I was not loved or appreciated the way I wanted to but I stayed because we were a family and I remained loyal to that. He called it quits six months ago and quickly stared seeing someone else. This is the lesson I was meant to learn, to love and put myself first.
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I know how devastating you must be feeling, so sorry for that. Life is a journey, and we learn every day as we go.
For years, you were thinking of HOW and WHEN to leave. Questions like: ” How do I leave my kids” ” how will people look at me if I do” , ” how am I going to cope” ” how will I make it without him”, ” when is it the right time?”
Rather, the questions you should have been asking are WHY: why do I not feel appreciated, why am I still here, etc. The WHY leads you to question your core values, and if the answers you get still make you uncomfortable, then you will be able to leave.
Do not learn how and when to leave. Understand why you need to leave. Why! Makes it a necessity.
That said, don’t give up, learn from the past, and you will be shocked how beautiful your next chapter will be.
God bless you and give you peace.
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